BETRAYAL RECOVERY CARE

Online LGBTQ+ Therapy for Marriage and Relationship Infidelity

Infidelity can knock the ground out from under you. Whether you were betrayed or crossed a boundary yourself, it can leave behind pain, guilt, anger, and questions without clean answers. These feelings can be a lot to sort through on your own, and they may be worth talking through with a therapist.

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CONTEXT

What is Therapy for Infidelity?

Therapy for infidelity gives you a private place to work through what happens after you've experienced infidelity. You can use your time in therapy to understand why the betrayal hurts the way it does, make sense of your own choices, or decide whether the relationship still has a future.

Individual therapy for infidelity can give you room to figure out your feelings and what you need out on your own terms, without being rushed toward forgiveness, separation, or any specific outcome.

Allswell offers online individual therapy for LGBTQ+ people dealing with infidelity across Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC. Sessions are private and focused on you, giving you space to understand what happened, make sense of your reactions, and decide what you want to do next, whether that means rebuilding trust, ending the relationship, or getting clarity before making any decisions.

Challenges Addressed in Therapy for Infidelity

Infidelity can bring up several painful things at once, and therapy gives you room to work through whatever feels most urgent without expecting you to have the whole situation figured out. Here are the most common challenges our therapists address:

The shock and pain of betrayal: Finding out can leave you moving between anger, grief, disbelief, and the urge to know every detail. Therapy can help you begin to make sense of what happened, your feelings, and a plan for the future.
Guilt and shame: If you crossed the relationship boundary, you may be carrying regret alongside difficult questions about why it happened. Therapy can give you a place to take responsibility and look honestly at your choices without burying yourself in guilt or shame.
Rebuilding trust, including in yourself: Betrayal can damage trust in your partner, but it can also make you question your own instincts. You may wonder what you missed or whether you can trust yourself to make good decisions now. Therapy can help you rebuild both kinds of trust over time.
Deciding whether to stay or go: You may want to repair the relationship one day and feel certain you need to leave the next. Your therapist won't make the decision for you, but therapy can help you sort through what's keeping you in the relationship, what may need to change, and if you should end the relationship.
Broken agreements in non-monogamy: Infidelity in an open or polyamorous relationship isn't simply about having another partner. It happens when someone hides information, crosses a stated boundary, or breaks an agreement the relationship depended on. Therapy can help you name the actual breach and understand what repair, accountability, or closure would require to make things better.
The aftermath that lingers: Even after the immediate crisis passes, you may keep replaying conversations, checking for signs that it's happening again, struggling to sleep, or feeling tense whenever something doesn't add up. Betrayal can leave trauma-like reactions behind, and therapy can help those responses feel less consuming.

How Infidelity Challenges Can Show Up in the LGBTQ+ Community

Betrayal hurts in any relationship, but some parts of the experience can be especially complicated for LGBTQ+ people. Queer communities are often small and closely connected, so the person your partner was involved with may share your friends, your favorite places, or much of your social world. That can make it genuinely difficult to get the distance you need while you heal.

Old stereotypes can add another layer. The tired idea that queer people can't really be monogamous may lead others to minimize what happened or act as though you should've expected it. Alongside the everyday strain of minority stress, that can leave you feeling like you have to defend your pain while you're still trying to make sense of it.

An affirming therapist who understands queer relationships can help you stay focused on healing without bringing those assumptions into the room. At Allswell, that understanding is already part of the care from the first session.

TREATMENT

How Allswell's Online Therapy for Infidelity Works

Allswell offers individual online therapy and affirming support groups. Most people begin with private video sessions with a licensed therapist. This is individual therapy rather than couples work, so the focus stays on your own healing.

Support groups run in six-week cycles with the same small group each week. Betrayal can feel deeply isolating, especially when you're embarrassed by what happened or tired of hearing what other people think you should do. Being with people who've lived through something similar can make it easier to speak honestly and feel less alone.

Your therapist will draw on approaches suited to betrayal and its aftermath. These may include:

EMDR

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing

When a discovery, confession, or painful conversation keeps replaying as though it's still happening, EMDR can help you process the memory gradually so it feels less immediate and has less power over your life.

CBT

Cognitive behavioral therapy

After infidelity, your mind may keep circling the same questions or filling every gap with the worst possible answer. CBT can help you work with those intrusive thoughts, question the conclusions they lead to, and regain some control over where your attention goes.

DBT

Dialectical behavior therapy

Betrayal can bring waves of anger, panic, grief, or the urge to act immediately. DBT can give you practical ways to stay grounded through those moments so you can respond without being swept into choices you may regret.

IFS

Internal family systems

IFS techniques can help you understand the different parts of you reacting to what happened. Therapy gives those reactions room without letting any one of them take over. At Allswell, IFS is used alongside other evidence-based approaches rather than as a stand-alone treatment.

Whatever combination of approaches you use, the work stays grounded in respect for you and the relationship you're trying to understand. Your therapist won't decide whether you should forgive, stay, or leave. They'll help you reach a choice that feels clear and genuinely yours.

OUR APPROACH

Allswell's Clinical Model for Infidelity

Affirming care is where Allswell starts, but recovering from infidelity takes more than a therapist who's sympathetic. It takes structured, evidence-based methods that form your personalized treatment plan and structure your therapy sessions. Here's how we approach it:

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Betrayal is treated with the seriousness of trauma when it acts like trauma

Infidelity can leave you replaying what happened, searching for new clues, or feeling as though your body can't settle. When betrayal causes trauma-like symptoms, Allswell therapists draw on structured, evidence-based trauma treatments rather than treating it as ordinary relationship stress you should be over by now.

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Affirming care is a clinical standard

The American Psychological Association and WPATH recognize affirming care as a professional standard, and Allswell holds every therapist to it. Your relationship, whatever shape it took, is treated as real, and your grief is taken seriously.

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We work without judgement

Whether you were betrayed, crossed a boundary yourself, or are somewhere more complicated than either, your therapist's job is to help you understand what happened, not to weigh in on whether you were right.

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We examine what infidelity taught you about yourself or relationships

Being deceived can leave behind painful conclusions: that you can't trust your own judgment, that closeness isn't safe, or that you should've known better. Your therapist helps you separate what actually happened from its lingering effects.

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We go at your own pace

Your therapist will help you sleep, and function before asking you to revisit the most painful parts. The work moves forward when you're ready, with attention to whether it's becoming overwhelming.

Progress is measured, and we adjust your treatment plan as needed

You'll complete brief check-ins at intake and about every 60 days, then review them with your therapist. If you're still caught in the same loops or the distress isn't easing, that's a reason to adjust the approach rather than keep repeating it.

What Makes Allswell Different

At Allswell, queer heartbreak is treated with the seriousness and care it deserves. Our therapists understand that betrayal can hurt just as deeply in a queer, polyamorous, or open relationship. They know that healing should be shaped around the relationship you actually had, not someone else's idea of what it should've looked like.

We look for therapists with hands-on experience supporting LGBTQ+ clients, including transgender and nonbinary people, along with training in trauma-informed, evidence-based care. Candidates are also asked how they'd respond to real clinical situations before they're hired, so affirming care shows up in practice.

Allswell also offers small support groups alongside individual therapy. Groups run in six-week cycles with the same people each time, led by an affirming, licensed therapist. You can join one on its own or alongside your individual sessions.

Paying For Allswell's Therapy for Infidelity

Allswell accepts both Medicaid and commercial insurance in Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC. Before your first session, our team will verify your benefits and give you a clear estimate of your cost per session.

MEDICAID

Sessions typically fully covered, with no out-of-pocket cost.

COMMERCIAL INSURANCE

$10–25

Most clients pay this per session, depending on their plan.

SELF-PAY

$125–175

$175 for your first session, $125 for ongoing sessions.

If Allswell is out-of-network with your plan, we can provide a superbill that you can submit for possible reimbursement. We accept Health Savings Account (HSA) and Flexible Spending Account (FSA) card payments as well.

Getting Started With Allswell

Book a free consult

Schedule a 15-to-20-minute call with one of our Care Coordinators to talk through what you're looking for and get matched with the right therapist.

Meet your therapist and build your care plan

Your first session is a 60-minute Welcome Session, where you and your therapist get to know each other and shape a plan that fits your goals.

Begin ongoing sessions

From there, you'll meet for 45-minute sessions, usually weekly, and can join a support group if that feels right for you.

Allswell's Reviews and Success Stories

Allswell is a refuge for queer minds, where being understood isn't a privilege but the start.

Since my transition, every talk with family was tense and stressful. At Allswell, I felt heard.

Allswell Client, 26

When I was considering opening a relationship, Allswell was where I felt safe to talk.

Allswell Client, 39

I lost my job and was at a low. Allswell found me a great therapist covered by Medicaid.

Allswell Client, 32

I loved my Allswell experience. I found the community grounding and encouraging.

Allswell Client, 22

I felt safe, connected, and understood. We were dealing with dark, difficult topics.

Allswell Client, 41

I loved having supportive people to talk to who resonated with my struggles.

Allswell Client, 35

Meet Your Therapists Who Specialize in Therapy for Infidelity

Allswell vets every therapist carefully, looking for real experience and a genuinely affirming, trauma-informed approach. When you start, you'll be matched with someone who understands infidelity and its aftermath.

Jessye Heyrana

LGPC

•

she/her

•

Maryland, DC

♾️ Neurodiversity

💔 Trauma & PTSD

😰 Anxiety

🏠 Family Relationships

🏢 Career & Work Stress

📱 Dating

🌎 Life Transitions

👐🏾 Racial Identity

🫂 Relationships

Fisher Ilijasic

LGPC

•

He/ Him

•

😰 Anxiety

🏢 Career & Work Stress

📱 Dating

😔 Depression

🏠 Family Relationships

🌎 Life Transitions

🫂 Relationships

😌 Self-Esteem

🛏️ Sex & Intimacy

Linsey Megrue

LMSW

•

she/they

•

Maryland, Virginia, DC

♾️ Neurodiversity

⚧️ Gender Identity

😔 Depression

😰 Anxiety

🫂 Relationships

💔 Trauma & PTSD

🏳️‍⚧️ Transgender

😌 Self-Esteem

💜 Chronic Illness & Disability

✊ BIPOC

Sakura Pate

MSW, BSW

•

She/ Her

•

Virginia

😰 Anxiety

🫂 Relationships

💔 Trauma & PTSD

🏢 Career & Work Stress

🏠 Family Relationships

🌱 Grief

🌎 Life Transitions

😌 Self-Esteem

😔 Depression

📱 Dating

Book a Free Consult

If you're located in Maryland, Virginia, or Washington, DC, you can get started with Allswell today. Book a free consultation with one of our Care Coordinators, and we'll help match you with a therapist who fits your needs, your preferences, and your schedule.

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