HEARTBREAK RECOVERY CARE

Online LGBTQ+ Therapy for Breakups

Even when breaking up is the right decision, losing the partner you built your days around can leave a void. The grief, the second-guessing, and the strange quiet afterward can feel heavier than anyone prepares you for. There's no prize for getting through a breakup on your own, and talking through it in therapy can help.

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CONTEXT

What is Therapy for Breakups?

Therapy for breakups gives you a space to work through the end of a relationship with someone whose only job is to support you. A therapist can help you grieve what you lost, make sense of what happened, and slowly rebuild a sense of who you are outside the relationship.

Therapy can help you find your way forward at your own pace, without anyone rushing you past what the relationship meant or brushing off what losing it may have cost you.

Allswell offers online therapy for breakups across Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC. Our therapists give you a steady place to feel what you're feeling and start to find your feet again.

Breakups can hit LGBTQ+ folks in their own particular ways, whether an ex is woven through your whole community or the relationship meant something the people around you never quite understood. You don't have to be LGBTQ+ to work with us, and you're welcome either way.

Challenges Addressed in Therapy for Breakups

Breakups can bring sadness, unsettle your routines, your confidence, and the future you thought you were building. Some of what people work through in therapy for breakups includes:

Grief and heartbreak: Losing someone can hurt, even when you knew the relationship needed to end. Therapy gives you room to feel that loss without rushing yourself to move on.
Your sense of who you are: When a relationship ends, the version of you that existed inside it can feel a little blurry. Therapy can help you reconnect with the parts of yourself that got quieter and begin figuring out who you are outside the relationship.
Rumination and what-ifs: You may replay the last conversation, rewrite old arguments, or keep wondering what your ex is doing now. Therapy helps you understand why your mind keeps returning there and gradually loosen the hold those loops have on your day.
Rejection and self-worth: A breakup can leave you feeling unwanted, replaceable, or as though you weren't enough. Therapy can help you separate the fact that the relationship ended from what that loss seems to say about your value.
Untangling a shared life: Ending a relationship can mean dividing belongings, changing routines, losing mutual friends, or letting go of a future you'd already pictured. Therapy gives you space to process both the practical changes and the grief underneath them.
Staying regulated around an ex: Sometimes you can't make a clean break. You may share friends, a workplace, a community, children, or other responsibilities. Therapy can help you decide what contact feels manageable, set boundaries, and care for yourself when avoiding each other isn't realistic.

How Breakup Challenges Can Show Up in the LGBTQ+ Community

A breakup is hard for anyone, but a few things can make it especially complicated for LGBTQ+ people. Queer communities are often small and closely connected, so an ex may stay in your friend group or remain part of the spaces where you usually find belonging. Losing the relationship can start to feel like losing part of your community too.

There can also be a quieter kind of grief when the people around you don't fully recognize what you've lost. Maybe the relationship was private, you weren't out to everyone, or others never treated your partner as a real part of your life. You may be grieving deeply without receiving the care and understanding that usually follow a breakup. Alongside the everyday strain of minority stress, that can make an already painful ending feel even more isolating.

An affirming therapist understands that queer relationships and the communities around them can carry their own histories and complications. At Allswell, your loss is taken seriously from the start, so you can focus on grieving what ended, caring for yourself, and finding your footing again.

TREATMENT

How Allswell's Online Therapy for Breakups Works

Allswell offers both individual online therapy and affirming support groups. Most people begin with private video sessions with a licensed therapist, where the focus stays on what you're going through and what you need as you find your footing again.

Support groups run in six-week cycles with the same small group each week. Being with people who understand how disorienting heartbreak can be may help the experience feel less lonely.

Your therapist will draw on approaches that fit the grief, uncertainty, and changes a breakup can bring. These may include:

CBT

Cognitive behavioral therapy

After a breakup, your mind may keep returning to what you should've done differently or searching for one more explanation that will make everything make sense. CBT can help you recognize those loops, question the conclusions they lead to, and gradually give the relationship less control over your attention.

MFN

Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you feel your grief without it taking over the whole day or getting pushed away entirely. You can learn to notice a wave of sadness, anger, or longing as it arrives and give it room to pass without feeling like you have to act on it.

EMDR

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing

When a breakup is tangled up with betrayal, abuse, or another traumatic experience, certain memories may keep feeling painfully present. EMDR can help you process those experiences gradually so they carry less emotional weight.

IFS

Internal family systems

A breakup can stir up parts of you that seem to want opposite things. One may miss your ex deeply while another feels relieved, angry, or determined never to be hurt again. IFS techniques can help you understand what each reaction is carrying without forcing one of them to win. At Allswell, IFS is used alongside other evidence-based approaches rather than as a stand-alone treatment.

Whatever approaches you use, the work stays grounded in respect for you and what the relationship meant. Your therapist won't rush you to move on or decide what healing should look like. They'll help you grieve, rebuild, and begin making a life that feels like your own again.

OUR APPROACH

Allswell's Clinical Model for Breakups

Affirming care is where Allswell starts, but getting through a breakup that's knocked you flat can take more than time and sympathy. Here's how we approach it.

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Heartbreak isn't treated as a disorder, and it isn't dismissed either

Grieving a relationship is a human response. Therapy becomes especially useful when the grief feels stuck, when months have passed, and the rumination, numbness, or self-blame is still shaping your days. That's where our therapists can help you begin moving again, without rushing you or treating your pain as something abnormal.

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Affirming care is a clinical standard

The American Psychological Association and WPATH recognize affirming care as a professional standard, and Allswell holds every therapist to it. Your relationship is given its full weight here, even if it was private, unconventional, or never fully recognized by the people around you.

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The rumination gets treated directly

Replaying the breakup, rewriting old conversations, checking your ex's profile at 1 am, or drafting messages you know you shouldn't send can keep the relationship present long after it's ended. At Allswell, those loops are something you and your therapist work on with evidence-based methods.

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We treat what the ending did to your sense of yourself

A breakup can leave you questioning your own worth and future. Your therapist helps you separate the loss itself from the conclusions it may have left behind: that you're hard to love, that you missed your chance, or that this is how every relationship will end. The goal is for the breakup to become one hard chapter of your life, not the whole story.

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Rebuilding your life is part of the treatment plan

A breakup can disrupt far more than your emotional life. It may change your routines, friendships, living situation, social spaces, or sense of community. Therapy makes room for the practical work of rebuilding those parts of your life.

Progress is measured, and your plan is adjusted as needed

You'll complete brief check-ins at intake and about every 60 days, then review them with your therapist. If we don't see meaningful progress, we'll adjust your treatment plan.

What Makes Allswell Different

Our therapists understand that a queer breakup can affect more than one relationship. When your ex is part of the same friend group or community, healing may also mean finding new boundaries, deciding which spaces still feel comfortable, and rebuilding a sense of belonging that feels like your own. Our therapists bring real experience supporting LGBTQ+ clients, including trans and nonbinary people, along with training in trauma-informed, evidence-based care.

Allswell also offers support groups alongside individual therapy. Being with people who understand how deeply a breakup can shake your life can bring a different kind of relief, where you don't have to explain why the loss matters before you can begin talking about it.

Paying For Allswell's Therapy for Breakups

Allswell accepts both Medicaid and commercial insurance in Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, DC. Before your first session, our team will verify your benefits and give you a clear estimate of your cost per session.

MEDICAID

Sessions typically fully covered, with no out-of-pocket cost.

COMMERCIAL INSURANCE

$10–25

Most clients pay this per session, depending on their plan.

SELF-PAY

$125–175

$175 for your first session, $125 for ongoing sessions.

If Allswell is out-of-network with your plan, we can provide a superbill that you can submit for possible reimbursement. We accept Health Savings Account (HSA) and Flexible Spending Account (FSA) card payments as well.

Getting Started With Allswell

Book a free consult

Schedule a 15-to-20-minute call with one of our Care Coordinators to talk through what you're looking for and get matched with the right therapist.

Meet your therapist and build your care plan

Your first session is a 60-minute Welcome Session, where you and your therapist get to know each other and shape a plan that fits your goals.

Begin ongoing sessions

From there, you'll meet for 45-minute sessions, usually weekly, and can join a support group if that feels right for you.

Allswell's Reviews and Success Stories

Allswell is a refuge for queer minds, where being understood isn't a privilege but the start.

Since my transition, every talk with family was tense and stressful. At Allswell, I felt heard.

Allswell Client, 26

When I was considering opening a relationship, Allswell was where I felt safe to talk.

Allswell Client, 39

I lost my job and was at a low. Allswell found me a great therapist covered by Medicaid.

Allswell Client, 32

I loved my Allswell experience. I found the community grounding and encouraging.

Allswell Client, 22

I felt safe, connected, and understood. We were dealing with dark, difficult topics.

Allswell Client, 41

I loved having supportive people to talk to who resonated with my struggles.

Allswell Client, 35

Meet Your Therapists Who Specialize in Therapy for Breakups

Allswell vets every therapist carefully, looking for real experience and a genuinely affirming, trauma-informed approach. When you start, you'll be matched with someone who understands heartbreak and how to help you move through it.

Jessye Heyrana

LGPC

•

she/her

•

Maryland, DC

♾️ Neurodiversity

💔 Trauma & PTSD

😰 Anxiety

🏠 Family Relationships

🏢 Career & Work Stress

📱 Dating

🌎 Life Transitions

👐🏾 Racial Identity

🫂 Relationships

Fisher Ilijasic

LGPC

•

He/ Him

•

😰 Anxiety

🏢 Career & Work Stress

📱 Dating

😔 Depression

🏠 Family Relationships

🌎 Life Transitions

🫂 Relationships

😌 Self-Esteem

🛏️ Sex & Intimacy

Linsey Megrue

LMSW

•

she/they

•

Maryland, Virginia, DC

♾️ Neurodiversity

⚧️ Gender Identity

😔 Depression

😰 Anxiety

🫂 Relationships

💔 Trauma & PTSD

🏳️‍⚧️ Transgender

😌 Self-Esteem

💜 Chronic Illness & Disability

✊ BIPOC

Sakura Pate

MSW, BSW

•

She/ Her

•

Virginia

😰 Anxiety

🫂 Relationships

💔 Trauma & PTSD

🏢 Career & Work Stress

🏠 Family Relationships

🌱 Grief

🌎 Life Transitions

😌 Self-Esteem

😔 Depression

📱 Dating

Book a Free Consult

If you're located in Maryland, Virginia, or Washington, DC, you can get started with Allswell today. Book a free consultation with one of our Care Coordinators, and we'll help match you with a therapist who fits your needs, your preferences, and your schedule.

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