Finding the right therapist is essential for feeling safe, understood, and supported in your mental health journey. For LGBTQ+ adults, working with a queer-affirming therapist who truly understands and respects your identity and experiences can make a world of difference. Here are five signs that it might be time to consider switching to a therapist who specializes in working with the LGBTQ+ community:

1. You hold back on discussing your sex life or relationship goals.

If you find yourself hesitating to share details about the type of relationships you’re in or exploring, it might be a sign that your therapist isn’t creating a space where you feel safe being fully authentic. A queer-affirming therapist will listen without judgment and help you navigate dynamics specific to LGBTQ+ relationships, whether that involves non-monogamy, kink, or other nontraditional arrangements.

2. You feel uneasy discussing your gender identity.

Exploring gender outside the binary can be complex, and a therapist unfamiliar with these experiences may unintentionally make you feel dismissed or misunderstood. If you notice discomfort or a lack of knowledge when you bring up your gender identity, it’s crucial to find someone who is informed, affirming, and able to guide you without bias.

3. Your therapist avoids or redirects conversations about your queerness.

Subtle signs of discomfort, such as a therapist changing the subject or glossing over discussions of your identity, can erode trust. Queerness isn’t just one aspect of your life—it’s deeply interconnected with your mental health. A therapist who avoids these discussions might not be equipped to meet your needs.

4. They overcompensate with excessive praise or infantilization.

While affirming your identity is important, overly enthusiastic or exaggerated displays of support can feel patronizing. If your therapist’s approach seems performative or diminishes the complexity of your experiences, it could hinder deeper therapeutic work. True affirmation means being treated as a multifaceted individual, not just through the lens of your queerness.

5. They interpret your concerns through a heteronormative framework.

A therapist who centers heteronormative values—such as prioritizing monogamy, focusing exclusively on traditional marriage and children, or emphasizing biological family over chosen family—might miss the nuances of your lived experience. A queer-affirming therapist will validate your values, goals, and relationships without imposing outdated societal norms.

Your therapy experience should feel empowering, affirming, and deeply supportive of your unique journey as an LGBTQ+ individual. If any of these signs resonate with you, consider exploring therapists who specialize in working with the queer community. At Allswell, we prioritize connecting LGBTQ+ adults with expert clinicians who truly understand and celebrate your identity, ensuring that you feel seen and supported every step of the way.

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